Ode to the beloved pressure cooker

February 1, 2008


You can be a Presto, or you can be a Fagor, I don’t care,
you should just be stainless steel.

You make my chicken fall apart effortlessly in succulent
goodness; my carrots tender and sweet, yet not dull,
and my spices properly infused. You cook using a
liquid-based system, so I eat less fat. Wait, are you
trying to tell me something about how my ass looks in
these jeans?

You are not made of animal products. And I hope that
no animals were harmed in the production of you. You
cook fastly. quickly. Seriously swift.

No, no, don’t cry, sweet Pressure Cooker. Just because
I ordered pizza tonight, doesn’t mean I love you any
less.

Awwww

You get me back in the kitchen, where I belong. Hey
wait a minute, what do you mean by that?

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