Flavor Country

July 31, 2008

Diet Tip #473

When you’re going to the drive thru because you failed to bring a modest, healthy lunch to work, be sure to get behind a woman in a teal Pontiac Sunbird. Despite the fact that she whipped her last butt out onto the parking lot as you pull in behind her, she will inevitably light up another ciggy right before ordering her meal.

How is this a diet tip you ask? Well, she’ll blow out a gust of smoke that will waft right into your car through the air vents. And here’s where the magic happens: between the smoke coming out of her mouth and right into your nose, your stomach will turn over right before you were about to order that enticing looking “crispy” chicken sandwich. You will end up sticking with the grilled chicken salad with fat free dressing because you have no taste buds left from the bile that just entered your throat.

I wouldn’t recommend sending your hard-working student to her child’s school though, because apparently her child has a propensity for misdemeanor assault against honor students.

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2 Responses to “Flavor Country”

  1. Project Openletter Says:

    See, there you have it. We are good for something. Us smokers do our part to decrease waistlines in drive thrus all over America. It’s a public service.


  2. I used to think it was a conspiracy, but Philip Morris had honorable intentions all along. Who knew?


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