Doggonit, darn right, you betcha, doncha know?

October 3, 2008

Was I watching an aldermanic district debate being held in Cudahy last night?

I am a mother, not even two years into this gig, but a mother nonetheless. Was it the moment that a baby popped out of my vagina that I suddenly became legit enough to understand the issues and challenges that face our country? And do I really have to become a soccer mom and agree with my neighbors on Main Street? They’re nice people with nice families, but screw their opinions, I have my own, TYVM.

And I fucking hate soccer. Boring ass low-scoring games. I once dreamed I lived in a hell where I spent every day slugging a family of five kids around in a minivan to soccer tournaments and making small talk with those people all day long. Coldest.sweat.ever.

She’s a mom, with an 80’s past… just like meeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

And I don’t sit around the kitchen table and worry. I do it in bed at 2 a.m. when I should be sleeping or screwing, like normal patriotic people do.


3 Responses to “Doggonit, darn right, you betcha, doncha know?”

  1. happycows Says:

    My future kids are banned from playing soccer. And a couple other sports. Basically all the sports I hate working at as an athletic trainer.

  2. ithinkimdying Says:

    “I do it in bed at 2 a.m. when I should be sleeping or screwing, like normal patriotic people do.”


    I’ve been laughing about that line for a good 10 minutes now…

    Also, I like soccer. It’s one of the few games where I excelled, because I could just stand in the backfield playing “defense” while looking for four leaf clovers.

  3. I will allow my son to play football because it’s weeknights, only once a week, and then he gets to be a total dick in school.

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