Jessica Alba is a jerk

February 12, 2009

Jessica Alba says of childbirth, “Contractions aren’t that bad. If you’ve ever had bad cramps? That’s what they’re like.”

Thanks a bunch, lady. After roughly 500,000+ years of homo sapien broads writhing in agony in the throes of childbirth, you’ve single handedly destroyed the myth. Yep, that’s right guys, childbirth is actually a walk in the park. Well, stick a fork in us, Ms. Alba has blown our cover.

Okay,  listen bitch… There’s a reason <fill in whatever you like here> adapted/designed us experience a shitload of body-splitting pain. I’m guessing it’s because <science or various dieties> didn’t want our pink parts to become clown cars. Perhaps the overpopulation of our planet with 14 or 18 children each isn’t in the best interests of the human race. Our britney’s are meant to remain delicate flowers. So yeah, childbirth is painful. REAL painful. How did anyone do it before the epidural? A little whisky on the gums or something?

With a little glitter and Swarovski crystals, of course!

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One Response to “Jessica Alba is a jerk”


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